Don't have grandparents. Don't have grandfathers who love you. Don't have grandmothers who inspire you. Don't fall in love with everything they help you to become. Don't have grandparents.
In a timeline of ten months I lost both my grandfathers. I learned from the first loss, to be stronger during the second. Here are the words I read at my Pepaw's funeral.
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I am not sure why I was
honored with being Gordon Henderson’s only granddaughter, but it is something I
will treasure forever. 21 years with my Pepaw does not seem like nearly enough
but he still managed to impart a lot of wisdom on me. He taught me about this
world, love, and myself.
We share a lot of the same
personality. We are a bit stubborn and strong willed. We either take things too
serious or not serious enough. And we are just enough rebellious to leave an
impression.
My Pepaw passed away one day
after his 81st birthday; this was no miracle or coincidence. I
guarantee he lived to be 81 and one day because he wanted to prove a point and
probably to have the last laugh. One of my favorite stories of his rebellion
and stubbornness is when he decided to run away from home when he was 5 because
he did not like the way his mom was doing things. When he returned he was
disappointed to find out his mom had hardly noticed. He passed on a little bit
of that rebellion to me. I just knew as a female Presbyterian, I had to stand
up and speak at this Baptist service.
He taught me the simple joys
in life. Like, when Memaw offers you dessert at the end of the meal you say,
“yes” regardless of how full you feel. He taught me that laughing with at
yourself is often the best thing you can do. He also taught me the importance
of watermelon, running a small business and getting my hands dirty.
During watermelon season, for
multiple years, we would hop in Pepaw’s giant black dully and drive to
somewhere South Texas. We would then meet up with people who would help us load
the truck bed full of watermelon. It was during that time I learned how to
properly pick a watermelon. While hearing the right sound after thumping is
important, the bright yellow belly really lets you know you have a good one.
Once we loaded the bed with watermelon, I am pretty sure weighed more than me,
we would make our way back to Rockport so I could sell them all. I am not sure
if we ever actually made a profit but I am pretty sure that wad of cash he
handed me at the end of the day is the reason I can have the time of my life in
college. He was one of the most compassionate people to touch this Earth.
If you have ever attempted
to go out to eat with him, you know an hour meal can easily last two and a
half. How he managed to know every single person before or after we left a restaurant,
I will never know. What really impressed me is his inability to actually
remember people’s names but knowing their life history and family tree was
easy. While I may not have the same talent for befriending a brick wall, I do
understand the importance of respect everyone I meet. I find it difficult to
recall a single moment my Pepaw spoke badly about someone. He took the time to
get to know someone’s story and respect their character before letting anything
else cloud his judgment. He loved well.
He loved so well in fact; I
think he set me up for failure. I have reached the age where all of my friends
are either getting engaged or talking about meeting ‘the one.’ I on the other
hand have impossible standards because of my Pepaw. For 21 years, I got to be
so loved by him, but I also got to be a witness to his love. I was able to see
what nearly 60 years of marriage looked like. I got to see him love my Memaw
with everything he had. Often to the point of selfishness, not wanting her to
leave his side because being away from her was the worst thing he could
imagine. After almost 60 years of marriage, I got to see what it looked like to
still like the person you feel in love with in high school. He set that bar
pretty darn high.
I also got to be witness to
how his tough love on his son, could help create the greatest dad I could ever
imagine. He has always been so kind and welcoming to my mom, accepting her as
his daughter. He always loved so well on his nieces and nephews. And the love
he had for his four sisters was one of a kind.
And Brandon and I got to
experience a totally different kind of love. A love that had high standards and
expectations for us but was always so thrilled just to see us happy. We got to
have a grandfather who expected us to give our all to what ever it was we were
doing. But at the end of the day, his only real request for us was to be good.
Be good children, siblings, students, athletes, artist, but most importantly be
good people.
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